About to Start Donor Egg Cycle and Afraid!
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About to Start Donor Egg Cycle and Afraid! Expand / Collapse

6/5/2017 10:48 AM
Quandry1 I was 43 years old, and currently nine months pregnant as a result. This will b my first child. My husband has three of his own all adults now. So having never experienced pregnancy, that was a big factor for me. As far as the genetic issue, I'm starting to forget. two weeks ago I found myself wondering whether or not my child would have dimples since my husband and I both have them. Then I remembered it didn't matter what I have. Yes that made me sad. But the child can have my personality. And I have a feeling once I hold my baby for the first time, I will have amnesia about the past leading up to that moment. By the way I don't get notifications that you have replied which is the reason for the delay response.

5/22/2017 3:01 PM
Hi Yearning. Thanks for your reply!
Can I ask you how old you were when you did it? And, Wondering how it's been..is this your only child?
Thanks for the words of encouragement. Yep..it's been a year and I'm still tormenting myself with indecision. But getting closer to a resolution. (I think

5/1/2017 10:47 AM
Quandary1 listen I struggled with the thought of using a donor egg all the reasons you are right now. I Mulled, debated, decided no, stressed, I changed my mind, worried, I went back-and-forth, everything you can think of before I decided I couldn't live Without having a baby. I spent well over a year trying to figure it out And you know what all that time spent thinking, was valuable time wasted! Do it! You will get over the things that bother you.

3/27/2017 8:37 AM
Hi fullofhope.
Wondering what you finally decided to do and how it has gone. I am in a very similar boat, but without the twins
I have a 7 year old conceived naturally after many years of trying and have now gone through 3 years of ivf, pgd, testing, and 4 miscarriages afyer natural conception. I am 44 and just conceived naturally twice within past 2 months and miscarried both at 5 weeks.
I went through the beginning stages of donor process using an unknown donor, and somehow just couldn't see it tbrough. I do t k ow why the genetic factor is so huge in my head....? It's been an awful, emotional struggle. I want another child and the clock is ticking yet I am still struggling to accept it and move towards it. So wondering g how the journey went for you?
Either way, I hope you found peace. It's awful when not e understands.

5/5/2015 11:20 AM
I completely understand your concerns and fears. My husband and I tried to conceive for 1 1/2 years and then both were checked just in case there was an issue. I was 27 and he was 30 when we first started trying to conceive. Nobody in my family had issues getting pregnant. Of course it didn't help that there were many kids and babies around me all of the time and everyone was asking when we were going to have one. We had been married for almost 4 years when we began trying. So, after using an ovulation kit, we found out that I was ovulating too late. We were relieved to find out that I could be regulated with a pill, but we didn't have the results yet from my husband's test. A few days later, we felt like a heavy burden had been dropped on us. His tests confirmed that not only did he have such a few sperm that we may never conceive on our own, but the ones he had were possibly not viable to use. We tried to stay positive and went forward with a mock transfer for IVF, blood work and lots of prayers for a successful IVF. I couldn't imagine not being successful with my husband's sperm since we were doing IVF with ICSI. ICSI is used to directly insert the sperm inside the egg. I was already taking progesterone shots to prepare for a pregnancy, but even after using ICSI with IVF, the 8 eggs that we had diminished to only one okay one the day after the sperm and eggs were joined. We hung on to the hope that the one egg would begin to develop naturally, but it didn't and we were not able to complete a transfer. Of course, my husband was upset and blamed himself for not being able to conceive a child. I told him that we were in this together and no one was to blame. About 5 months later, we decided to try again, but with a sperm donor as well. It was not an easy decision to make. We decided to use a sperm bank in CA. There were hundreds of profiles to choose from. It was overwhelming to say the least. We chose donors who were most like my husband and me. We were able to use our first choice and transferred two healthy embryos on Dec. 9, 2011. We found out two days before Christmas that we were going to be parents! All of the tests, shots, heartache and fears that we had were worth it! We now have a beautiful, wonderful, intelligent, funny, loving 2 1/2 year old son. We could never thank our donor enough for giving us a most precious gift of our son and parenthood. Our donor is anonymous and we will never have contact with him. I don't know his name or where he lives, but we do know the year he was born, a description of what he looks like, his medical records as well as his parents', grandparents', brother's, aunts', uncles', cousins' medical records, the donor's likes and interests, what he likes to do, etc. He wrote an essay about himself and why he decided to become a donor. He has a wonderful heart and for that I know that we chose the right one for us. Choosing a donor is not an easy task. It will forever change your life when you find out that you are expecting, even by a donor. It was not an easy decision to make. My husband had reservations about it because our child would not have his genes. What if he looked just like the donor and didn't look like us or my family? Well, my family couldn't deny him if we tried! Our son looks and acts so much like our family! He is truly a blessing and I don't have any regrets. Of course, we would have liked to have been able to conceive a child on our own without the intervention of medicine or a donor, but then again, we wouldn't have our son. I believe that everything happened for a reason. We are hoping to conceive again with the same donor. We have one more chance. Fingers crossed! Good luck with your donor. I hope and pray that you will never lose faith and hope and that you too will be able to conceive another little blessing!

5/3/2015 4:20 PM
I am 44 and pushing 45 and have done 7 unsuccessful cycles with my own eggs. I had twins via IVF when I was forward. I love being a Mum and would love one more child. I have had a hard time accepting that my ovaries are essentially done. We are proceeding with a donor cycle but I am still struggling emotionally. Part of me feels when all is said and done it won't matter. It has been a very isolating experience as after one ectopic and seven miscarriages most of my friends just avoid me now. None of them has ever experienced a miscarriage let alone having trouble conceiving. Just feeling very anxious and alone. Hubby is great bit sometimes he doesn't really quite get it. Sorry for the rant....just needed to vent I guess!
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