34 on my first IVF
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34 on my first IVF Expand / Collapse

3/13/2014 12:14 PM
Hi cann13. Just wanted to give you an update on the progress we are making. We researched another fertility clinic that was highly recommended by some friends. They went through this clinic and they now have a healthy 2 year old son. The reason we did not start there was that my primary physician referred me to the place I was going through. Anyhow, I've heard nothing but great things about this doctor and his staff. My husband and I have an appointment for tomorrow afternoon to meet with the doctor, the staff and to see the facility. I'm so excited!
Side note....I have yet to hear from the fertility clinic I called twice last week and from my IVF coordinator. It's absolutely ridiculous!

3/11/2014 1:24 PM
Hi again...it's such an uncomfortable place to be when you need to speak with an office manager or supervisor because you then get the funny stares/looks. I know it is my right to do so and they are not doing their jobs. After all, we are paying them privately and a lot of money for their services. All I ask is for a little common courtesy. Unfortunately, at my doctor's office, there are only three people, receptionist, IVF coordinator and the doctor. So, that would be quite uncomfortable. I'm giving her until tomorrow afternoon, then I will follow up. That's if I can wait that long. Lol.

I'm glad you get your results today. I'm sure that will give you some peace of mind as to what the next week will look like. From the retrieval on, it will fly. How exciting!!!!

Have a great day and we'll be in touch with updates.

3/11/2014 12:49 PM
Hi wannabeamommy. Wow your donor had 24 eggs?! I wish!! Thats a blessing!! I am glad to hear you have 12 embryos you can still work with, thats excellent news. So much to work with. I'm sorry your Dr's office isn't getting back to you as THEY SHOULD. I would ask for an office manager at this point it's been a week and nothing yet. Not cool at all.

I do hear back from my labs today. Thank God its always the same day and they will let me know how much more or less meds to take. I actually have been on 7 days of stims. Im telling you I am all over the place with my days nowadays. Last cycle I was on the injections for 13 days so I'm hoping 6-7 more days and I am ready for the retrieval. I am SO ready for that. LOL. This time around it seems as though everything is going by slower than the first. It flew the first time! With me, the hardest part is the waiting process of fertilization because they are so poor. Granted I haven't made it to the tranfser and waiting 2 weeks yet but Im SURE I will be a wreck as well.
I'm sorry you are having a rough day. We are all entitled. I fought back tears today myself. Told myself its just the meds and to relax. Cant stress myself more than I already am. I totally understand the feeling about everyone around you having kids. We are the only ones without kids,but I try not to think about that or look at that anymore. We will have our day one way or another. For now I enjoy every moment with my God Daughter my nephews and neices. Especially my alone time with my husband, because we know how that will change once we have a baby!! ;-)
I hope you get thru to your Dr's and get answers soon and get started because I know you are more than ready!

Hope your day gets better!

3/11/2014 11:31 AM
Good Morning....I'm so happy to hear that all is looking good. Your husband is right, it only takes one and you have 4 that are looking pretty strong, so YAY! I know we always hope and pray for more but this is still really good. We were blown away with our donor (she was 23 so very fertile), having 24 eggs retrieved, 20 fertilized and 14 made it. I had 2 transferred and 12 frozen. It's just amazing how this works!
I'm so sorry that you are having these unpleasant side effects. Fortunately, I didn't feel any. I'm a very sensitive and emotional person so I'm not sure how much of that was the hormones/medications and how much was just me. Lol. Just keep in mind it is all well worth it!
Will you have you lab results today? Do you know how many days you will be on the injections? My first cycle, I did it for about one week, second cycle for 16 days, and since the 3rd was with a donor egg I was on Lupron injections for about 17-18 days. Once you get started, it seems like everything moves quickly. That waiting period to find out if you are pregnant is the eternal part of the process. So, be prepared as those feelings of desperation and fear will come back.
I agree with you 100%, thank God for husbands! Mine, too, has been wonderful, amazing and so very supportive! I had another melt down this morning and having him hold me makes things easier to cope with. I have my moments and I think I broke down because there are so many people around me that are pregnant and having babies. I called the fertility center twice last week to get information (fees) but have yet to hear back, after each time, they said they would call me at the end of that day. I am really losing my patience. I also emailed my IVF coordinator Thursday late in the afternoon and have also not heard back from her. I went as far as contacting another agency but they need to see my medical records. I'm afraid to request them as I don't want to burn any bridges with my doctor's office in the even I stay with them. It's just so insensitive, I think, the lack of courtesy they have. Ugh!!! Anyhow, the embryologist was the one who replied to my email immediately confirming the number of embryos he froze. At least somebody is paying attention to the patient.
Anyhow, enough of my ranting....wishing you lots of positivity and patience!
Patricia (aka wanttobeamommy)

3/11/2014 10:50 AM
Good Morning!!! Its been 9 days of stims. Just got back from my Dr's appointment. All seems good, at least for my case. I have a tiny follicle on my right(normal because of my case) and I have 4 strong ones on my left. Although it is one more than the last cycle I was hoping and praying for more. However, I will take what I can and pray that they are strong! One is especially good and at a 17 which the nurse says its good.
I have to say this cycle with the meds has been worse as far as mood swings, sickness, hot flashes especially at night and I can't sleep. I think it is the Lupron. I am definetly over the needles and meds already and am SO ready for the next step. I am waiting for my blood work from today to come back then the Dr will let me know what the next step will be, as far as meds and next appointment. Trying to stay hopeful and positive. Thank God for my husband. Like he said it takes one and we have to pray for that strong one!
I'm mentally drained and honestly thinking I don't know if I can go through all of this again. I will cross that bridge if it ever comes, but you cant help but think sometimes.
wannabeamommy how are you doing? Hope all is well for you and all the ladies!!. Lots of baby dust love and prayers!!

3/5/2014 1:02 PM
Good morning! That's great news...best way to start your day and your cycle. Let's hope they continue to grow and multiply and have nice mature eggs! It's always exciting to go in for the ultrasounds and get the updates. Glad you're feeling a little better. Keep it up!
All the best and keep me posted.

3/5/2014 12:49 PM
Quick update:I started the Lupron this A.M. the injection was not bad at all hopefully the side affects behave. I start Menopur and Follistim on Friday as well.My RE called me last night to come in this A.M. instead of Friday. I had to go in for blood work and baseline ultrasound and found out I already had 4 follicles. I take this as a good thing because last cycle I had been on the meds for a few days and there were no follicles and the Dr was thinking of canceling the cycle. The fact that I already have 4 and just starting meds today gives me a little more hope. I'm hoping with the help of the meds they grow healthy and maybe get more follicles along the way to work with. So far so good. Fingers crossed.

3/4/2014 1:01 PM
Good morning! Lol...with so much on your mind, it's easy to lose track of the goings on and dates. I had to put everything on my calendar, the injection days/times, the days to replace my patches and the times to do so, as well as when I had to take the Estrogen, baby aspirin and the Endometrin suppositories. They were all on a different schedule and very confusing. Had I not put it on my calendar with alerts, I would be all over the place.
I TOTALLY understand the emotional roller coaster you are going through. I've been extremely negative, depressed and frightened every time we take the plunge. It's funny but while I'm in the process of (shots, ultrasounds, etc), I'm actually excited. It's not until the waiting period of getting the pregnancy results that I am a hot mess!!! From what I have read it is very normal. Don't you just hate when people say to not worry or stress over it?!?!? It gets me so upset!
I'm proud of you for talking yourself into giving it your all! You and your husband deserve it. You, I and all of us on this forum have put so much effort into this that I think we deserve it. I, too, am not giving up. We want to be parents together and we aren't giving up quite yet. My time to give up is not here yet...I'm very stubborn and get very determined when I want something. We have 12 frozen embryos so I have faith that one (or more) of them will become our baby(ies).
I am contacting my fertility center to get all the fees to see what we are looking at. Fortunately, the medications we used cost us, out of pocket, only $110 because my insurance covered most of it. That's excluding what we paid for our donor. I anticipate this time around will also be a low amount. Keeping my fingers crossed. If all goes well, we might begin in April, after my cycle.

Keep me posted...all the best to you this week with the shots. Remember to keep your head up! As my husband says "Go Team Baby!!!" Lol

3/4/2014 12:10 PM
Hello wanttobeamommy. I actually got all my days mixed up. Something told me to check my schedule again before I started Lupron and sure enough I am supposed to start the 5th. tomorrow. For some reason I thought that was Monday. I start Menopur on Friday along with Follistim and have an appointment Friday the 7th to see how my body is reacting to the meds, U/S and Blood work I have been a mess until yesterday. I literally had a talk with myself!!

I started feeling like its not gonna happen,its not worth it, I'm wasting my time and I'm only going to do it because it means alot to my husband. Feeling sorry for myself, just not in a good place being VERY negative, depressed not wanting to talk about it and not wanting to do it. Something came over me yesterday. I decided enough is enough! If I am going to do this I am going to do it with my head held up high and give it MY ALL! This is whats been dealt to me and I am going to do everything I have to, so I can know I tried everything and gave it my all. No regrets and no what ifs. I am not a quiter and my husband is fighting for us, I have to fight with him and not leave him out there by himself. If it doesnt work we have one more try and I will also do what I have to that 3rd time,after that I have decided that 3 times is my limit. It is ALOT to deal with especially mentally as you and everyone else on here knows. God has a plan and whatever that may be if children isn't a part of it I have had so much time to think about it, I will have to accept that.

If you are ready you go for it. But, you have to be mentally ready for it. That is so important. Give it your all. It is NOT fair I agree but, we did all we can do. I asked you before when do you know enough is enough?... You can NOT let it consume your life. You are your husband still have each other and need each other. Take a vacation, spa day together,just time for you guys talk about other things. Believe me I know at times that is ALL you talk about and it gets exhausting. This whole thing is exhausting but you still have each other.

Let me know what you decide and thank you for checking up on me. I will keep you posted.

3/3/2014 4:58 PM
Cann13...just checking in with you since today you started the injections. Hope all is well with you and your worries have lessened.
I had a really bad night. I wasn't able to sleep and finally did so about 1 and to be woken up at 5 by my alarm. All I could think about was not having a baby and couldn't help myself but cry. So much so that I woke my husband at midnight. I was truly a mess. I just don't get it sometimes! I'm mentally ready to try again but I am terrified to try again! I wish there could be some certainty!

2/24/2014 7:05 PM
Hi cann13. First of all, please try to slow down and don't over stress yourself. I think we have all been at the "over it" stage in this process but our love and desire for a child keeps us going. It's a lot to take in, I know, but it's all well worth it. Just try to keep that in mind. Our bodies are unpredictable too which may be the reason why doctor's orders changed. My medication regimen changed at each cycle. I was on Menopur and Bravelle for two cycles and I understand the financial strain you talk about. What killed me is that some, of the meds, I later come to find out, my insurance covers. Too late to go back. I was on Lupron in December and I honestly did not feel or see any side effect with that one or any of my meds. So, I hope an pray you too have a similar experience.
What I found quite interesting that you mention is that they want to do the ICSI three days after retrieval. On our three cycles, it happened the same day of retrieval. My husband had to make his deposit the same day. All it is, is manually fertilizing the eggs, inserting a sperm into each little egg to create the embryo. It's a better chance to fertilize the eggs but a bit more costly.
I am so sorry that you're feeling like this but try to keep as positive as you can.
I'm very anxious to start trying again and told my husband that today. I'd like to level off our credit cards a bit before going to cycle #4. We have 12 embryos frozen and was told I would have to get on the pill and Lupron again. All the best to us both and all our IVF sisters!!! Keep in touch. XOXO

2/24/2014 2:32 PM
Hello ladies!
So I am overwhelmed and.... just kinda in a "over it" all kind of mood today. I had my Nurse consultation today and although the Dr did tell me this cycle the protocol was going to change I did not think it was going to change so much.
1st the meds. I will be on Lupron this time around, twice a day. I have not heard great things about Lupron and was not happy to hear I had to start this med. Has anyone ever been on it? What are your opinions on it? Although I am not happy about it what choice do I really have? I will also be on DOUBLE the amount of Menopur than what I was on last time. Once in the AM and PM. Menopur was not as bad as I thought the first time around but double may irritate me more now(rash wise) Menopur is also the most expensive med we have had to buy thus far,and being that I will need double it's going to add up. Also Follistim twice a day AM and PM. Just seems like so much. Last time I ran out of places to inject and I wasn't on so many meds. I was so relaxed until this Dr's appointment today.

2nd, although my husbands semen is ok the Dr now wants to do ICSI and help the egg fertilize( I cant remember the terminology). The nurse says that this will give me more of a chance for my eggs to fertilize, because of my poor quality eggs. My issue is they do this on the 3rd day of retrieval and the last cycle my eggs did not even make it to barely day 2.

As I said I have been very calm and trying not to stress this time until todays consultation. I think it was just alot all at once to take in and I was not expecting so much change,but as always we all do what we have to do. I just needed to vent! Between all the meds, appointments,money, the unknown and needles I feel like I am about to lose it.

I start my first Lupron March 3. Can anyone tell me anything about it?

Thanks for letting me go on a rampage ladies. LOL. No one else understands.
Have a great day! Lots of love and baby dust!

2/18/2014 1:48 PM
Good morning, cann13. I'm happy for you guys that you are on another cycle. It's definitely good news when your doctor doesn't feel like you need to consider donor eggs. With us, she mentioned it early on in our efforts. It was us that were opposed to the idea but things seem to fall in place and you go based on what is presented to you.
So, there was no embryo resulting from the two eggs that the retrieved? From what you have said, sounds a lot like my second IVF cycle. We didn't even go through with the retrieval because we didn't have many follicles to even make that try. I'm really happy that he wants to give your eggs another shot. Obviously, he sees something there that might work, yay!!! If, God forbid, you need to consier the egg donation...the questions you have are very valid and you should be concerned about those things. Most definitely, the feeling of not being linked to that child biologically, has an emotional impact but always remember that you will carry that baby in YOUR womb and he/she will be yours. As far as looks, you will, more than likely, look for somebody with your features so the baby could resemble you. If you think about it, a lot of children born to their biological parents often times look nothing like them. Lol. You have to trust your gut feeling about certain things. I'm in a much better place accepting this card that was dealt to me. I had a lot of communication, via email, with our donor and both, my husband and I had such a great feeling about her. She had a spunky personality, similar to mine and my doctor and IVF coordinator loved her. They thought she was very sweet and smart. It's funny but our IVF Coordinator says that when she first saw our donor, she was thrown aback at how much resemblence there was to me. Just take one day at a time and try not to jump to any "what ifs" prematurely. I know it's very hard not to as I am the queen of worry. Each of my cycles, I was excited but when the time came for the embryo results and that pregnancy test...I was a mess.

I will definitely be thinking of you on Monday...I was on the DHEA on my second cycle and hear it does great things. FYI, a bit of advice, not sure if you have insurance but we paid out of pocket for the first two cycle and also for our donor but the meds that I had to take this last time, were covered by my insurance! I was so upset because I could've saved a lot of money last year. So, try to get some filled through your local pharmacy and through your insurance.

I think for now, my husband and I are a little more at ease. We still hurt when we talk about our struggles. We aren't giving up though. I still have faith, go to church every week and say my prayers. We are going to try another approach, kind of a homeopathic route. In Latin American countries, it is common for people with any type of ailment to seek treatment through a person that massages your body and puts things back in their place, if you will. I've heard from so many people to try it because so many women have gotten pregnant that way. It doesn't hurt to try, right? Well, I went yesterday and it DOES hurt. Lol. The woman massaged my abdominal area and pretty much the rest of my body. It was so painful! She also recommended I make a tea and drink it for 4 days. We shall see if it helps! I told my husband, if we can't get pregnant naturally, maybe this massage could trigger or wake up the uterus so the embryo can latch on. I hope it works...I don't know if I could take another negative result.
I did google support groups but I couldn't find anything in my area. I need to ask around to see if there is anything nearby.
Well, best of luck to you and we'll be in touch.

2/18/2014 11:36 AM
Hello Ladies!! Just wanted to give you a little update. We had our first appointment yesterday since our disappointment retrieval earlier this month(2 eggs poor quality). The Dr wanted to talk to us as far as what protocol he wanted to do this time around. I have started the birth control already so we were a litllel ahead of the game.

He told me that even though our first cyle I only had 3 folicles and he had thought about cancelling the cycle my blood work was amazing and showed that I should have had great eggs and that is why we proceeded with the cycle. He has NO idea why my eggs came out with such poor quality and is VERY surprised. I tried talking about donor eggs although we will be doing one more cycle with my eggs(God willing) he did not want to talk about it. He said we are not there yet because of my age I should be able to do it without donor eggs. However I have decided if this time around I have the same issue we will talk more about donor eggs. That does scare me a little. Just the fact that the baby wont look like me and not to mention the family history of the donor. Do you tell your child for medical reasons in case something happens when they are older? How do you really know if the donor is as healthy as they say? So many questions. My husband tells me we will cross that bridge if we ever get there but you know how we are ladies, our minds go way ahead.

I have another appointment on Monday the 24th for the nurse consultation u/s and blood work then we find out when we start the injections again. I will be on Folistum and Menopur.Menopur TWICE a day. FUN!! He took away the Ganarelix this time so far and also put me on 3 additional supplements. Co-Q, DHEA, and L-arginine on top of the prenatal,fertaide,royal jelly, and ovuboost I am taking daily. Alot of pills but if it will help I will try aything. I am surprisingly calm this time around for some reason. I think the first cycle I just didn't know what to expect and I have a little bit more of an idea this time around. Although I havent lost hope I just don't want to get too excited and be dissapointed if it didn't go as planned this time so I am taking it as it comes.

wannabeamommy- When you wrote back to me it brought me to tears when you mentioned how your husband is in the angry stage. it's so hard to see them like that especially when they are our rocks, but we have to be there for them when they have their moments as well. I'm sorry to hear he is having such a hard time right now. There goes that rollercoaster we talk about. You guys have not done anything bad in your past to deserve this. We just all have to work harder to get what we want and deserve. We all deserve to be moms. Look what we are doing to proove that! To answer your question. No I have not been to a group as of yet. Did you google any around you area yet? As far as you not knowing when enough is enough you will know. You have to listen to your gut and your body. But you do EVERYTHING you can possible so you will have NO regrets or"What if " questions. I said it before and I will say it again!! You have been through alot and you are ONE STRONG woman!! We all are!

Good Luck ladies I will keep you posted and please to the same.

2/12/2014 2:14 PM
Hi wannabeamommy...funny how our usernames are so similar. Lol!
Wow, you too have had your share of heartaches and disappointments. It's a very scary, nerve-wracking process to go through. However, you are definitely one of the lucky ones that has had success in having a little girl. I’m so sorry to hear about your twins...must have been devastating. That is what terrifies me. My husband and I wish the doctor would be open to transferring more than two embryos to raise our chances, but she says she doesn’t want to get me “over-pregnant.” I completely understand but want the highest chances of conceiving.
I was wondering how you went about switching physicians. I ask because part of me would like to seek another doctor. For the most part, I like mine. She took some getting used to but we grew to love her! She’s brutally honest and her bedside manner is not what one expects to find from their doctor. However, we appreciate that she speaks to us with the truth and doesn’t sugar coat things to give us false hope. We used a fertility center in Beverly Hills for our first IVF cycle and our doctor switched to another in the West LA area because she likes the embryologist there more so. Anyhow, our 12 embryos are there. I don’t know how to choose our doctor...does it have to be one of the ones at that center? Also, I’m wondering if I would need to go through extensive medical tests again and the cost of a new doctor is what I’m afraid of. I figure, we stick with our original one, she has all my information and hope her fees go down.
As far as genetic testing, we haven’t really discussed that. I suppose that should have been at the top of our list. My husband and I are both social workers and work with the developmentally disabled population. I guess we just figured that our donor is 23 and she is healthy. I would be concerned if they were mine since I’m 43.
Well, wannabeamommy, nice chatting with you...wish you all the luck if and when you consider trying again. Enjoy you little one!

2/12/2014 12:55 PM
Hi Wanttobeamommy.....
I just read your post and wanted to tell you to be gentle with yourself and to not lose hope. You've done the hardest part by moving on to donor eggs so hopefully, it is just a matter of time. I did 2 OE cycles before moving on to DE. I conceived twins on my first cycle but then lost them when they were born prematurely at 23 weeks. We did 2 FETs with that same donor and neither worked. We finally moved on to a new clinic and a new donor in a "hail mary" type effort. We transferred 2 blasts and we were blessed with our DD a couple of years ago. We recently just did a SET but miscarried during the first trimester likely due to chromosomal issues. We still have remaining embies so if we decide to try one last time, we are going to do full genetic testing on them prior to proceeding. Even though the embryos "look" perfect and beautiful, no one (even the RE & embryologist) really knows without genetic testing. Just thought I would mention this as food for thought as you may want to consider testing your embryos prior to transfer. Either way, I wish you the very, very best of luck and hope that you have success soon!

2/11/2014 4:57 PM
Thanks cann13 for that! Funny thing is that I don't feel strong...I always seem to fall apart and break down. In fact, just yesterday I received the news my cousin's wife is pregnant. I used to change his diapers and he's alrady having a child of his own...I am happy for them but hurt so much for us! I just got off the phone and my mom was telling me how my aunt/uncle got the news and it brought me to tears. I want this so bad and we are not going to give up. God-willing we won't have long to wait! I totally get you, I don't know when enough is enough. Just this morning I was thinking to myself, how I wish I could get a sign from God telling me what to do next...continue trying, consider adopting or just give up. My husband is at the angry stage...he is angry that the doctor and embryologist sounded so positive. He's mad at them, mad at God and claims that we have to be bad people in order to get what we want. There are so many people that aren't fit to be parents, and here they are pregnant! We have stability, careers, great jobs, lots of love to give...why not a family? Ugh...these questions can go on forever!!!
I'm happy to hear that, at least, you are playing with the idea of an egg donor. It's not something one ever expects to have to consider, but then again, neither was IVF using our own eggs. For me, as each situation presented itself, I came to terms with and accepted it. Funny thing is that, for some reason, I always thought I couldn't have children. I don't know why because I never had a medical problem but I have ALWAYS wanted one so bad that, I would think, my luck I wouldn't be able to. Then we found ourselves seeking assistance from a fertility specialist and then an egg donor. It's not so bad if you later choose to go that route. Keep in mind that you would carry that baby and would be linked to it. Research says that babies born as such might not have a biological link but there many traits that they get from their mother. I have to believe in that or go insane. Lol! A bit of advice, if you happen to seek an egg donor, not through an agency, be cautious. I was so anxious to pick one out that I would consider going with the first one that expressed an interest. Thank goodness my husband is very balanced and level headed adn brought me to my senses. Lol.
Your story is really incredible to have to go through such an ordeal at such a young age. I'm so sorry to hear that. I truly hope that whatever eggs they can retrieve are strong enough to fertilize and attach to the uterus. I'm amazed at what the human body does to create a little person...all the steps it needs to go through just to get you pregnant. It's good to hear that you are being realistic and open to other options you have. You are right, it can be extremely emotionally draining. I, just like you, knew it would be an emotional rollercoaster but not this much. My heart breaks when I see my husband break down and cry. I feel so responsible because I am the one with the bad eggs and now that we have great embryos, they don't attach to my uterus. I blame myself at times and he comforts me and tells me that it's just bad timing to make me feel better.
Have you gone to one of the support groups? I think I will google it. I feel so much better when I talk about it, especially with others going through this same roller coaster. I have a friend who had to have a hysterectomy and she has never had children nor did she ever want any. I spoke with her a couple days ago and she says to me that if I really want to be a mother, there are other options (adoption). I know she meant well but she just doesn't get it that I want to carry my baby...I want to be pregnant. She's never felt that maternal instinct, so to her it isn't important.
Thank you so much for the well wishes....sending lots of luck in your direction as well. We must fight on! Keep me posted on your progress.

2/11/2014 4:12 PM
Hi wanttobeamommy. Wow you are an AMAZING STRONG person! I just read all of your story and I am inspired! We paid for 3 cycles and I always said that would be my limit if it did not happen then it was not meant to be. Not to mantion financially it IS alot! Now reading your story I dont know how I would feel if that time ever came to make that decision. I think I would want to keep trying. But when do we know when enough is enough?....

I have a feeling and have already kind of started talking to my husband that we might need donor eggs as well. I have low counts as well as poor quality eggs right now because of my history. I had to have emergency surgery twice on my right ovary when I was 15 yrs old. I had a cyst which erupted a vein and I was bleeding internally. It was either go in and do what they had to or I would lose my life. Come to find out years later (now age 31) they took alot of my right ovary when they scrapped it and have hardly anything left. The Dr only has my left ovary to work with and the eggs arent that great. So I have to be realistic and think it may be a possibility.

We never went into this thinking it was going to be easy, however I didnt expect it to be so emotionally draining. It has however brought us so much closer. I am blessed to have an amazing supportive husband, but yes we do have to remember that it's not just us and this affects them as well. Take the time to ask how they are doing as well.
I know that there are a few support groups for IVF in our area our Dr told us about it. You should ask your Dr or even google it.

I totally relate about everyone around you having babies. It is SO hard. We are the only ones in our group of friends that do not have children and it can be a downer at times. Especially when they hardly even try and bam they are preggo!

I wish you so much luck with your little snowflakes(frozen embryos) you have left! We have to much fight in us and too much love to give for this not to happen for us all!!

2/11/2014 11:17 AM
Good morning, ladies. Forums like these are wonderful because you find others in the same situation and really "understand" you. It's very important to not lose hope and try to remain as calm as possible throughout this entire process. It's easier said than done. I get angry when people say "don't stress, it's not good for you," well, if they were also losing sleep, investing so much emotional heartache and spending so much money...let's see if they could be stress-free. Right? This has definitely been the most trying time in my life, too.
Dlh08, give it all you have...you will find that at this time, you will become closer to your husband and your relationship will only get stronger. I, too, had to get the HSG done and, you're right, it was very painful. You aren't alone and always feel free to vent in this forum. Everyone on here is very supportive. Always remember that baby making might be difficult but not impossible. All the best to you.
cann13, wishing you all the best in your IVF journey. Remember, it only takes one embryo!
My IVF journey has been a tough one...we began October 2012. I'm now 43 years old, my husband is 37. So, I'm the one with the poor egg quality in this equation. Our first cycle, we got 3 out of 5 eggs to fertilize but only two survived for transfer. Unfortunately, there was no pregnancy that resulted. Our second cycle, started March 2013. We went through the series of injections but the doctor felt that taking this cycle to completion (retrieval and transfer) would not be a good idea because the number of eggs was not sufficient. She felt that it was too expensive and too emotionally draining and the outcome did not look good. She recommended we have timed intercourse and highly recommended an egg donor. That was the most difficult thing to hear...how can that possibly be that I not have a baby that is biologically linked to me. It was heartbreaking! After plenty of thought and talk about it, my husband and I agreed to it. If we really wanted to have a baby, this would be our best option and I would still have the opportunity to carry it. Our search began to find a donor...that was grueling! We don't have a lot of money and could not afford an agency so we turned to Craiglist (yes, I know sounds crazy!). We had many "interested" parties and a couple that might have been scammers. Fortunately, we came across the most wonderful young lady ever. We had a physical resemblance, career oriented and very bright. She seemed genuinely interested in helping us. She gave us 20 eggs, 14 of which were fertilized and perfect! 2 were transferred and 12 are frozen. The transfer did not take and that has been tremendously painful. It doesn't help that there are at least three people close to me expecting a baby...I'm happy for them but oh so sad for us. I wish we could share in that joy at this time. I don't want to waste time and want to get back to trying again but financially, it's taking its toll.
My husband has been extremely supportive and wonderful but I have to stop myself sometimes and remember that it is not only me hurting and that I, too, need to be strong for him. wish there was a support group for us to go to and meet other couples going through this.
Sorry girls but I just had to vent my frustrations...lots of luck to us all. Hugs!

2/11/2014 9:58 AM
Hi Dlh08. I just read your entry and remember feeling the same way. It is scary and you have ALOT of "what if" questions and the worse is the not knowing and waiting process. I can tell you this, it will make you stronger!

I have a bad right ovary which does not produce very good eggs and my left tube is collapsed due to prior surgeries I had on my right ovary because of cysts. So basically there is no way to get to my good ovary on my left side. I always knew something was wrong because we tried for years and nothing. Although I was finally happy to know what was wrong (found out May 2013) I was devastated to hear the Dr tell us we need IVF. I felt like damaged goods, less of a woman, and scared because I knew it was NOT a cheap route

We just finished our first cycle a week and a half ago. I had 3 follicles on my left ovary a HUGE one on my right and retrieved only 2 eggs. One egg didn't make it right away and despite all my prayers and hoping the 2nd egg didn't make it after 2 days. It was the hardest thing I had to hear that after all we had to go through there was nothing at the end. But, believe it or not you find the strength to continue because what other choice do you really have right?

I am now starting my birth control and have an appointment with our Dr to see how he wants to change the protocol on the meds( which are also expensive) for our 2nd cycle. Through it all you cant give up faith or hope. God would not have chosen all of us if he did not think we could handle it. I try not to talk about it with alot of people because like you said seems like no one really understands.

The meds weren't as bad as I thought at the time. Now coming off of them is when I'm having moods swings and sweats at night a few hot flashes as well. You get used to the injections and the schedule.

All in all you are not alone.Stay positive and surround yourself with positive people and energy. Keep me posted how it all goes. GODD LUCK and lots of baby dust your way!

2/2/2014 8:31 PM
Hello, I'm 35 We tried for over 2 years to get pregnant. After painful HSG testing we've learned I have double blocked tubes😟 Clearing them was not an option. We will be starting our first round of IVF (IVF is our only option) sometime this week. I'm beyond scared and restless. I feel like no one understands and financially it is incredibly daunting I really don't know how to deal with all of this I am just trying to take everything one day at a time. I have found that talking about it does make it a little more bearable. I think my biggest fear is maybe no baby at the end of all of this.🙈

9/10/2013 11:59 AM
Chrissyb5, how are you? I thought I had replied to your last post but just realized I hadn't. Any updates? Was the IVF cycle successful? I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it was.
No updates on my end. We are still in search for an egg donor. We had one lead, sounded good but we became weary once she started asking for timelines and kind of pressuring us. Needless to say, we canceled her out. There is another young lady interested and we are hoping that it goes through. Another contacted me, very interested, however, she is blonde and blue eyed and I am not. Lol...I'm a brunette with brown eyes. The baby would be totally different from me and we are trying to get someone that resembles my features. Anyone out there that knows of a willing participant, please send them my way.

BECKLex, 10 follicles are impressive...sounds very good. I'm hoping that you get lots of eggs fertilized. Try to remain as patient as possible. It's easier said than done but try your best. Hopefully, you have great support system, which helps quite a bit. Wishing you lots of luck and prayers and positive thoughts headed your way!

9/10/2013 9:32 AM
Hi Chrissyb, just wondering how you are doing and what your results were. I go in for my 1st retrieval Friday morning. I have 10 follicles but not all are as big as they should be - still, RE is optimistic. Very anxious and mostly nervous about how to spend the time between transfer and beta test.
Positive thoughts and prayers sent everyone's way.

8/1/2013 9:19 PM
So they got 6 eggs from me which was great on my scale and 5 have fertilized! There were 3 other women in the surgery center that were having the same proceedure done and my doctor told me this morning that we had the best fertilization results...I'm not sure what that means lol...I'm guessing that percentage wise (eggs to fertilized eggs) we did the best. I think he was just trying to sound possitive though I find out Saturday if they will do a 3 day or 5 day transfer so now we wait to see how the embryos do. I'll keep you updated.

I'm sorry the talk didnt go as smoothly as hoped but I'm glad they didnt just shoot you down right away. I could see why they would have reservations but the only ones that would know the "secret" are you 4 so as long as you agree to keep it secret then everything should be fine. It sounds like she may have a hard time knowing that she may not ever really know your child that would be of her genetic material. Isnt is funny that she would have dificulty donating an embryo for you to carry to term and raise but she already told you that she would be a surrogate for you? Its seems like it would be harder to give up a baby then an embryo. If they decide not to do it do you think you'll try for a stranger or someone else in the family? Fingers are crossed friend!!

7/31/2013 10:48 AM
Hi Chrissyb5. Thanks for remembering, very sweet of you! Well, the meeting went well, I think. Lol. We were a bit concerned about my cousin's husband not being receptive to our request but, to our surprise, was supportive. My cousin was also supportive but is concerned that it would be a huge family secret and if word got out, it would hurt too many people. Why? I don't know. I could see her point with regards to her daughter knowing. However, her daughter is 6 and has no need to know now. If and when she is a mature adult and would need to know, for medical reasons, that she has a "half-sibling" out there, then, by all means I would understand telling her. So, we left without an answer. We wanted to give them the opportunity to discuss this privately. We are giving them about one week, if we hear nothing back, then, we will move forward to plan B...looking for other donors.
I'm so happy fo you this morning!!!! I remember the excitement I went through when they did my retrieval. Let me know how many eggs they extract....hoping for many!!!

7/30/2013 8:34 PM
Hello wanttobeamommy!
How did last Friday go?!?! I hope all is well. I'm going in for my surgery tomorrow morning to get the eggs so wish me luck that they get some good ones!

7/23/2013 6:42 PM
Hi Chrissyb5, it is definitely nice to vent with people that are in the same boat as you. A friend of mine who is a psychologist and I work with has also has gone through this with her partner. They went through 7 rounds of IUI and 2 rounds of IVF. They now have an 18 year old son. It's been great to have them around during this process because they could give you personal as well as "clinical" support. I'm truly blessed to have such great people arounfd me. In fact, I just broke the news to her that we are seeking egg donation and was very encouraging.

My cousin does have a little girl that is 6 1/2 years old. She is very bright, talented and beautiful. We leave to Phoenix on Friday afternoon and will be there early evening. I'm nervous but excited.

7/23/2013 5:47 PM
wanttobeamommy, I forgot to address your question about the early menopause...I actually haven't told my doctor about my mom yet. I keep forgetting every time I talk to him or my case manager. She should be calling me today with my results of today's appt so I'll try to remember to tell her about that and see what she says. I haven't researched it yet but it is my assumption that the amount of eggs you are born with have something to do with genetics. I guess I'll have to research that now!

7/23/2013 5:42 PM
Hi wanttobeamommy!!
I'm glad you're not mad at me and it sounds like things are probably more figured out than I realize. I guess it's nice to just complain to people that are going through the same stuff with out having to explain yourself.
So you're going to Arizona to talk to your cousin on Friday!?!? Good luck on that conversation and I hope that they get excited about helping you two! My fingers are crossed! Does she have any kids herself? Good call on keeping it between the four of you. That's definately how I would want to keep things too.

7/23/2013 3:26 PM
Hi Chrissyb5, thanks for your reply and words of encouragement. Congratulations on your great looking follies, woohoo! That was always my husband's and my reaction when we had more than 3 follicles. It's been a bittersweet journey that we have been on. My husband and I have definitely grown closer. It would be great that our bodies took longer to lose the ability to reproduce. Did your doctor say that your egg shortage is a result of a family history of early menopause? I wonder if that has anything to do with it...regardless your chances seem pretty good with those 8 follies. Remember, it only takes one!
To answer your question about using my husband's sperm to fertilize the donated eggs, yes. I'm really sad that I cannot have a child with him and he has, from day 1, been saying how he would love to have a baby that looks like me. He loves to see my baby pictures and movies and goos and gaga's over them. That's the heartbreaking part, that I can't give him that.
I felt the same way you do about asking a close family member to be the donor. I was afraid of comments from other family members about how the child looks like the donor, reason why we have made the decision to keep it amongst the four of us. I do not want anyone to know so I won't get any of those comments and if they do come, at least, they won't be done maliciously (if that makes any sense). We had considered going with a stranger but we are afraid of "what" we would get. Even though they would have to complete a complete profile, people could always lie. Maybe it's just my mind working overtime, lol. Anyhow, my cousin is great, beautiful, smart and talented. She and I had a discussion about one month ago about the difficulties my husband and I have been having and she said that she always wanted to be a surrogate. She had seen a movie about it and thought that if she could do something like that for somebody, she would. That's when she offered to be a surrogate for me, if that was where the problem was. I'm hoping that she will be just as open to this as she was to surrogacy. It's 2-3 weeks of her time versus 9 months...I hope she's open to it! Wish us luck Friday night!!!

7/23/2013 2:51 PM
hello wanttobeamommy!
I actually read your story on another thread yesterday and it's good to hear that you haven't given up. 42 is still so young these days!! Just think that it was unheard of to have children past the age of 30 40-50 years ago and who knows, eventually we may get to the point that having children past 40 is what everyone is doing
I would have no problem continuing to have kids in to my 40's but thankfully I didn't wait until then because I think that would have been too late for me. I think I am going to follow in my mother's footsteps and run out of eggs around 39 or 40 so I'm glad we took action now!
I think that if we were faced with the decision of donor eggs (which is and absolute possibility for us) that I would not want a close family member to donate either. It seems like that would be uncomfortable every time you saw them but obviously I couldn't say exactly what I would do unless I was faced with that decision. Asking a cousin that lives in another state sounds like a great idea! I hope "the talk" goes well and she and her husband are able to help you!! I have one question if you don't mind me asking...when you use a donor egg do you still do the fertilizing with your husbands sperm? Oh and one more, did you say that you are considering to ask your cousin to be a surrogate or is that only if you have to? You already sound like a strong person so keep it up and know that you are making the right decision.
I just had my first monitoring appt. this morning and I have 5 great sized follicles on my left side and 3 average to less than average ones on the right. I'll find out before the day is up if I need to change up my FSH doses but I'm feeling quite calm.

7/23/2013 11:55 AM
Good morning, Chrissyb5...I certainly understand what you're going through. I, too, am producing very little eggs but my problem is my age. I'm 42 (43 in September) and my body is just not cooperating with mother nature. We did 1 1/2 rounds of IVF. The first round, we had 2 embryos (one that was not doing that well but the other one was perfect) but no pregnancy. We tried a second round but at the end, I really hadn't produced more than 2 mature eggs and my doctor felt that our chances of retrieval were too slim as you can easily lose the eggs upon extraction. So, we did the trigger shot and timed intercourse...unfortunately, no pregnancy. So, my doctor's recommendation was to consider egg donations. It was a hard decision and it took me some time to accept that the chances of me bearing my own child was very very slim. They suggested a family member donate but at the time, I didn't want that, I preferred a stranger. Now, I've come to terms with my situation and am ready to proceed. There are so many feelings one goes through before you learn to cope with your reality. This weekend my husband and I are going to ask my cousin and her husband if they will do us this great favor of donating her eggs to us. They are both young, 25, and her husband slightly immature, which scares me. The good thing is that my cousin offered to be my surrogate, thinking that was my problem, so I have hopes that this will be something she would consider. They live in Arizona and we will be traveling there this Friday to have "the talk."
I'm sure you will do just fine. After the injections end, you will find that you will miss it....crazy as it might sound. My husband would give them to me and I miss that connection/bond that we had.
Keep us posted on your journey...all the best to you and your husband.

7/22/2013 10:05 PM
So I'll just begin with my story...I'm 34, my husband 33. We have been together for 12 years and got married almost 2 years ago. We wanted to start a family right away (as neither one of us was getting any younger) so we that's just what we tried to do! Almost two years later and we had zero success.

We decided to seek help and got the name of a fertitly clinic in our area. We were told that we were good canidates for IUI and after we have a blood test I could begin clomid to prepare. Well, blood results came back and I have very low reserves of eggs. This was making my hormone levels plumit resulting in immature eggs being released at ovulation then resulting in NO PREGOS! I was shocked and the thoughts that went through my head were, "but I'm a healthy person...I have strong bones, never had a cavity, thick strong hair, I don't get sick very often, almost no allergies, regular text book period cycles"...then I realized that health had nothing to do with the number of eggs I was born with. That was just the hand I was delt. Our doctor suggested IVF as our chances of IUI being successful was 5-10% and IVF was 35-40%. With us being on a time crunch now we decided to save the money and emotions on the high chances of unsuccessful IUI treatments and go for the IVF.

It's been a whirl wind of decisions since our first consultation appointment was on June 14th and I'm now on day 4 of injections. Our decisions have been quick but I believe they were the right ones. Did I mention that I found out 2 weeks ago that my mother started menopause at age 39?!?! That answered all my questions and it made sense that I would be low on eggs. Probably would've tried starting a family a little earlier in our lives had I known this but that's neither here nor there.

I'm on very high hormone doses right now because of my inablity to produce them very well myself with morning injections of 300iu of follistem and evening injections of 150iu of follistem and 150iu of menopur. 3 injections a day sounds a bit daunting but it hasn't been that bad. The first injection I did, though, my skill was far from good and I gave myself a little bruise but I've improved since I have my first monitoring appt. tomorrow (i have to drive an hour and a half for a 15 min appt...lol) and I'm curious to see whats been going on in my body.

If there is anyone out there that has a similar situation in that they are low on eggs and have some imput or stories to share then I would love to read them! If anyone is going through IVF RIGHT NOW and wants to share the day to day process then I would love to experience this along with someone else!!

Thanks for reading!
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