Dealing with secondary infertility
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Dealing with secondary infertility Expand / Collapse

7/26/2013 12:09 AM
Hi Deb. Wow I know EXACTLY how you feel. I feel so frustrated by the whole process and sometimes like I am not giving my son 100% because I am too preoccupied with trying for a second baby. I need to remind myself to appreciate the present and how lucky I am to have him.

Unfortunately our last IUI cycle back in April was unsuccessful. After that, we were done with them. I don't think we would have done so many (six) if we hadn't have had success before.

We took a few months off before we moved on to IVF. It was such a challenging decision. I think we had both been hoping that it would just happen naturally while we were deciding (another miracle!) but no such luck. I actually just had my retrieval last week and transfer on Monday so am back in the torturous two week wait (although I guess it's only 9 days with IVF).

THe cycle went OK, not as great as I was expecting. I think I had high hopes because of my age, no known cause of infertility and because I have already concevied a child. I responded well to the meds, had 14 eggs retreived, 13 mature but only 6 fertilized. They decided at Day 3 that I had enough embryos to do a Day 5 transfer but unfortunately only 2 made it to Day 5 and they weren't great quality. I had assumed we'd have 2 to transfer and a bunch leftover to freeze but no such luck. The cycle cost us about $16k, our insurance doesn't cover it, and we don't really have the option to do another. But whichever way it works out, I am glad we did it. At least now I know that we did everything we could to have a second child. I don't think we would go down the DE route. I don't really have anyone I could ask, no female cousins, sister is alot older and any friends I would consider live in a different country. But it sounds like you are lucky to have some options. I hope you have success before that - it's so hard to know when to call it quits and move on. I would probably consider adoption but my husband doesn't want to and I respect that.

7/24/2013 9:31 AM

Hope you have found success since your post. We to are struggling with secondary infertility. Our story is similar to yours in that our daughter was conceived without any medications or IVF. We started seeing a specialist in 2010 because we had been TTC with no success. Our specialist ran all the test and told us that due to my high FSH we would not be able to conceive and donor egg was our only choice. We decided to keep trying for a few more months and one month my numbers came down and we got pregnant naturally! We were thrilled/ shocked. Our daughter is perfect and the joy of our lives and is now 21 months old. I am now 36 and we have been TTC our 2nd for over a year now.

My FSH is very similar to previous high levels where they tell me that a donor egg is the only option. We aren't even eligible to try IUI or IVF on our own b/c I have no response to medication. We are looking into DE and are blessed to have some options there, but I can't help but feel down about not being able to "function".

It is really tough, b/c I know we are so fortunate to have our daughter, and I feel guilty for being down about not having success having a second. I feel like the stress/worry of this almost overwhelms me and is taking away from my overall happiness and being able to enjoy our daughter which makes me feel worse! We have given ourselves an internal deadline of trying on our own. Then we will hopefully try DE and if that doesn't work, we will give up, but for now, I am determined not to give up.

Keep hope and good luck.

4/11/2013 4:27 PM
Hi All. I'm new to this forum and was hoping to hear from people who have experienced secondary infertility, how they coped and whether you eventually had success without IVF.
Our story - my husband and I were TTC for about 18 months before we finally saw a specialist in 2010. We had tests done and everything was normal. I was 31 at the time. I had one IUI, without any drugs, and I got pregnant. We felt like the luckiest people in the world. Our son was born in summer 2011. We were hoping that maybe Baby No. 2 would happen naturally but afar a few months of no success, we went back to the specialist. We have now had 2 unsuccessful natural IUI cycles, 3 with Femara and a few days ago I had my first IUI with injectables. The u/s confirmed I had 3 follicles ready to go so fingers crossed (10 more days until I know).
We are getting very frustrated but are hesitant to move to IVF because we know it CAN happen without it. I am 34 so not in a huge rush, but at the same time getting very frustrated and the costs are adding up (although of course nothing compared to IVF).
Has anyone gone on to IVF after having conceived previously without it? Or finally conceived after many unsuccessful IUIs? I would love to hear your story.
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