Unconventional Approach
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4/19/2009 11:10 AM
mtknapp -

I only know so much about all this IVF stuff, and I've never hired a surrogate, but I'll do my best to give you my opinion...

To make sure I understood correctly:

So you have five frozen embryos from your last IVF cycle, but you are currently keeping them frozen and actually doing a fresh cycle in May, right?

And then, if you have leftover fresh embryos during the May cycle, you would like to have a surrogate on hand to have a transfer with your fresh leftover embryos right then and there, correct?

What about the frozen ones from the last cycle? Would they just stay frozen?


First, I don't think any idea or request is too crazy or "out there" because we are desperate. Let's not mince words, we ARE desperate. I know I am. It doesn't make us wierdos or anything . I know that I desperately want to be a mommy.

I guess you have to weigh it all out with your husband and your doctor. Also, what about the money situation? Do you have insurance, or are you paying for everything out-of-pocket. I know that since we are paying for everything ourselves, it sort of shapes one's decisions. So, that may dictate your path.

Some options you could consider, if the clinic says it can be done:
Fresh Transfer in May with your eggs
Have a surrogate on hand to get your leftover fresh embryos. And if there were no fresh ones to transfer, you could have her receive the frozen ones on the spot. (Note: I have no clue as to how long it takes to thaw the frozen embryos). That way, the surrogate, who has take all these drugs and prepped, could receive embryos no matter what. But this would have to be done ASAP...is there enough time?

Do you have a surrogate in mind?

I would do this, or any other unconventional approach, as the goal is to have a baby. Any method I could afford to pursue, I would.

Other thoughts:

I think I heard somewhere that surrogates receive payments as high as $40,000 for their efforts.

I know that frozen embryo transfers have a success rate of about 30%-ish or slightly less. But, if I had frozens, I would go back for every last one.

What are the grades of your frozen embryos?

(FYI - I am looking into possibly adopting frozen embryos and the clinic has a success rate of 48%, which is more than the national average.)

You should also get opinions of trusted people around you, whether family or friends. Even though they may not have experience, you never know when someone might have a point or idea that you never thought of.

Why don't you want to "waste" the embryos on your uterus? Do you have any medical issues with carrying? I know for me, I got tired of the drugs and injections, but I would gladly do them again and put up with it for a chance at a baby

Not sure if I was helpful to you, but I'm here to talk.

4/18/2009 2:30 PM
Anyone have any luck with the following: I have 5 perfect frozen embryos. I was unable to carry 2 embryos from that same cycle, it ended in m/c at 5 weeks. Do I try a frozen cycle and have someone else carry them. I feel like I dont' want to waste them on my uterus! We are also about to go through another fresh cycle. If I have extra embryos, have you ever heard of anyone having a few implanted in themselves and then a few more implanted into a women who has actually carried a child to term? Is this an option? Can you imagine if we both got pregnant? Wow. Is it too late to do this now? I mean I don't think there are empty wombs lined up at the fertility clinic just waiting to incubate my emryos and let me keep all of them. I start Lupron on 4/25 and am expecting a retrieval mid-May.

My doctors assured me it would work last time since my infertility is 'unexplained', but it didn't. It would just be so much more efficient this time if I had a back-up plan. But it didn't occur to me until just now. Anyone have any experience hiring a surrogate?

3/27/2009 2:25 AM
Hi Cid,

I don't think it's too weird for you to mix your eggs and donor eggs.

You should definitely talk with your doctor about it to see if your clinic would be able to do it. I'm just wondering how complicated it gets in terms of timing your cycle and egg retrieval with a donor cycle and retrieval...but I'm sure it can be done.

In my opinion, it's okay for you to feel this way (against using donor eggs). There is no rulebook for what's the right or wrong way to feel. I'm 43, and just had a m/c with donor eggs. I was completely devastated and have been through all the range of emotions. It's just not easy. This is so life-impacting.

3/26/2009 8:20 PM
Cid - I had a friend whose sister in law did that. She had problems with her eggs and she wasn't completely open to donor eggs either. She felt the same way that if one took she wouldn't know if it was hers or the donor eggs. So i think thats a great solution to your dilemma. Good luck!

3/26/2009 4:43 PM
OK...here is my dilema. I said that I wanted my own child. My canned statement towards donor eggs is, "I already have two donor children with my husbands sperm and another womans egg....they are called step-kids".

I want my OWN child. And while that may sound arrogant or vain....it is important to me.

My husband says he thinks we should consider donor eggs as mine are old ( I am 44). He really does not understand how much that irks me.....as he already has two children, and this baby would still be his too. But I really need for it to feel like mine. Everyone says that you WILL feel the attachment as you will carry it.....but I don't think that is enough for me.

SO my question is this. Has anyone heard where harvested eggs and donor eggs were used at the same time during one fertilization? Mix them up in one dish, and then harvet. If a baby was achieved, then I think that I would be ok because I would never really know eith way, so it would be easy to embrace it as mine.

Is this too weird....too sci-fi.....?

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