2/25/2010 11:13 PM
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So hopeful was just reading the post and I hope your results were positive...
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1/12/2010 1:51 PM
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Hopeful--Best of luck tomorrow with your transfer! I'll be thinking positive thoughts for the embryos you implant, and hoping that you have a few to put on ice as well.
My husband and I have been looking into adoption as well. One thing to remember is that there is a tax credit (up to about $12,000 I think) for adopting that can be claimed on your return the year you finalize the adoption. That can cut down the cost significantly.
But hopefully you won't need to pursue adoption and you will be having a baby of your own!
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1/12/2010 11:25 AM
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Water weight - For any of you at this stage of the game and worried about all the water weight gain, I am glad to say that I have lost 5 lbs. of water weight in two days post-retrieval. What a huge relief that is. None of my clothes were fitting. They also say when you gain a lot of water, like I did, to watch out for hyperstimulation. Someone was being treated for it at the clinic when I was there and I really felt for her. They were draining the fluid out and it did not sound at all fun. She was several days post-retrieval ... but the water just kept building anyway.
Three-day transfer - We found out today that they are going to try a 3-day transfer on me this time, as the embryos do seem to do better in the human body than in the culture dish. We shall see. Transfer is tomorrow 1/13. I am glad for the 3-day transfer as that means I can get on with my life two days sooner, and the pregnancy test will be two days sooner. I have been on the long Lupron protocol, so this has been a very long road. They had to keep me on Lupron longer so that nothing happened over Christmas when the clinic is closed. So far I have ten embryos, but one is dividing fast (8 cells at day two) so they don't have high hopes for that one. Last time we didn't have any to freeze. I am hoping that this time we will, but given my age, that is doubtful. Decision will be made tomorrow if any are freeze-able.
Adoption - Since we know our chances are low, we have considered adoption, but the cost has frightened us. A friend of mine just adopted a 6-year old from the foster system and he is doing well. She says when she goes to the Foster/Adoption classes MANY people come in with babies. So she said don't believe the myth that it is very hard to adopt a baby. The foster system has LOTS of little babies born in unfortunate circumstances who need a mother's love like any other baby. I am keeping that tucked under my hat in case this doesn't work.
Once again, good luck to all in you journey to build your family.
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1/11/2010 10:20 AM
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Lefty - nice to hear from you. It's good to hear what different docs have to say about over-40 conception. I have never tried IUI, but if my current IVF cycle (#2) doesn't work, I may try IUI as I have a lot of leftover Follistim to use, and I just can't afford another round of IVF. It's great to hear about your experiences. I too have a birthday in March. Wouldn't it be nice if we both got good news before then? Hope the polyp is nothing more than fluid and you are on your way to completing the IUI cycle.
I completed IVF retrieval yesterday. What is amazing to me is how similarly I responded. Same amount of Follistim, almost identical time to respond (I'm a slow responder ... took until Follistim treatment day 13 for the follies to be large enough to pull the HCG trigger shot). And funniest of all ... just like last time ... they got 17 eggs. This time only 9 fertilized, with a possible #10 ... they are still waiting. Last time I had 14 fertilize, but I'm not going to worry about that too much right now. Maybe these are slightly better quality than last time. You just never know, as my clinic says.
Sal22 - Read all your posts in the donor area. I know what you mean about mourning. I am expecting this not to work with my own eggs, and that is depressing. I have so much respect for people who are strong enough to get past that. From a biological perspective, it truly is only 1 cell that we need. It is just so hard from a sociological perspective to accept that our bodies fail us at a certain age. I am much closer to accepting this than I have ever been though, so that is a step in the right direction. I still feel that for me, the donor is not going to be the road we take. My DH is very concerned about what all this is costing. And being newlyweds still, I feel as though I can't fight him on that. I envy you for being able to take time off. The drugs, bloating, and lack of exercise have caused my weight to go up 10 lbs. -- much more than last time. I can't wait to again exercise and drink wine and even the forbidden ... caffeine! The good news is ... after retrieval some of the water weight came off and I am down 2 lbs. from yesterday.
Everybody keep me posted on how you are doing. And I will keep all of us in my thoughts.
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1/9/2010 1:12 PM
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Hi all - it is sure reassuring to hear from other 40+ women going through this experience. I'm 45 (will be 46 in March) and in the middle of my first IUI cycle. As I definitely wanted to try with my own eggs, my RE strongly recommended starting with IUI. He believes the success rates with IVF for women my age using their own eggs aren't significantly higher than those with IUI - not enough to warrant the additional IVF cost. I appreciate his 'low-tech' philosophy and understanding that I'd want to try with my own eggs first.
I was on track for completing my meds on Monday and being inseminated Tues/Wednesday - until my US yesterday when I learned that I may have a uterin polyp. I'm continuing with the meds over the weekend and have a followup US on Monday, where I hope to learn that the possible polyp was only fluid. If not, I'll probably need to cancel the cyle and have the polyp removed before trying again. While I've read that some polyps are too small to cause issues, at my age I certainly don't want to jeopardize a full term pregancy in the event I'm fortunate enough to get pregant.
It's so reasurring to read about all of your experiences - thanks to all for sharing!
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1/8/2010 5:57 PM
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Oh, and as for agencies...our clinic screens their own pool of donors, so we're hoping to use one of them since it's a bit cheaper (in our case anyway) than going through an agency. But one that was recommended to us is called An Eggceptional Match (awful pun!). I know they have one location in Colorado (where we are), but think they might be in other places too.
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1/8/2010 5:54 PM
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Hi Hopeful, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you having a successful cycle. It is possible! We thought about it too, but the odds seemed too low for us given the costs. If money were no object, I certainly would not be giving up on my eggs yet, but sadly, cost is a HUGE object at the moment. We are getting closer to being ready to move forward with a donor egg IVF cycle. I'm sort of enjoying having these few months "off" from the fertilty whirl. I can exercise as much as I want, drink wine, and basically just not think about it all the time. It's a nice break--one that was much needed after my miscarriage in the fall. So hopefully we'll do a cycle this spring and welcome a baby by the end of the year! I've posted a few times on the Donor area and had some really great input from others who've used DE. You should visit that area for more support. Good luck and keep us posted on how this cycle goes. I hope to hear good news in a few weeks!!
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1/8/2010 2:07 PM
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PS WannaBeAMommy -- how are you doing? Still feeling good? I wish you the very best. Tell your mom we all admire how she has supported you on your journey. She not only is a great mom to you, but has inspired others like me as well with her supportive words of encouragement.
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1/8/2010 2:04 PM
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Apologies that it has been so long since I have posted. We are now about to embark on our second fresh cycle using my eggs. Retrieval is Sunday 1/10/10. Wow, that's a weird date to type! I know my chances of this working out are really low at age 44, so that gets to me if I think about it too much. So my present goal is to keep myself very distracted, working on home projects so that I have something to focus on. My embryo transfer will probably be a 5-day like last time, or 1/15/10.
If this cycle fails, of course the nurses have already spoken to me about a third cylce using donated eggs and embryos because of my age and financial situation. Currently they do not have any donated eggs (eggs that someone didn't end up needing) at my clinic. They said they may have donated embryos that someone didn't use if I am interested. Then I would just have to pay $3k for a frozen cycle. I like the price, but still feel weird about using someone else's embryo, even though they have been kind enough to give it. I guess the upside is ... instead of adopting a child ... you get to nurture it before it's even born ... and be it's real birth mother, even if there is no genetic tie to either parent.
Sal -- looking forward to hearing where you are on your journey. It does help to hear what other over-40's decide to do. If you are pursuing egg donation ... which agency are you using? I just applied today to view donors from my local agency.
And to everyone else who has achieved pregnancy through donor eggs ... I salute you. It's a tough decision ... and only a very strong, compassionate person can make it. I wish you all the very warmest of new mommy wishes!
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11/7/2009 2:02 PM
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Thanks for sharing that. I'm glad you barged in! And congrats to you on your pregnancy. That is so fantastic. I've actually read a few of your other posts and have to admit that your story gives me enormous hope. I feel pretty confident that if we decide to go for it and spend the money on donor egg IVF that we will be able to realize our dream of having a child. My husband is a little hesitant about it, but we both know he will be more than okay with it once we make the decision to move forward.
I hope that you continue to post updates throughout your pregnancy. It really does give me hope that I could soon be in your place.
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11/7/2009 1:20 PM
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Hi Sal22 & Hopeful44.....forgive me if I am barging in on your conversation. After reading your posts, your stories were so similar to mine in many ways, I just wanted to let you know my experience.
I just turned 42 a couple of weeks ago. Having never tried to conceive before, I began IVF at age 40 and my DH was 50. We did 2 complete IVF cycles with my eggs and also had 1 cycle canceled. Both times I did a Day 3 transfer, along with acupuncture, and resulted in a BFN. As you both have been told, my RE told me that it was due to poor quality eggs because of my age. My odds of conceiving with my own eggs were in the 5% range. All of our cycles were out of pocket also as our insurance does not cover infertility or maternity for that matter. Anyway, knowing we likely could afford 1 more cycle, we decided to turn to DE. My husband, who has grown children from a previous marriage, was totally on board. I struggled with it a bit at first emotionally knowing that the "genetic link" would not be there. We are not telling anyone that we used DE, they think we just did another IVF cycle. I did have a very private conversation before making the decision to use DE with my Mom. She has been the best mom I could ever aspire to be. Anyway, she really helped me to understand that once I became pregnant, everything about that baby would be mine and I would love it just the same. We ended up choosing an anonymous donor via our clinic. I've heard lots of not great things about agencies. Anyway, the cost was around $20,000. Our donor was 22 and we ended up with 8 fertilized and 6 blasts. We transferred two grade A blasts and I am 13 1/2 weeks pregnant with twins! I love and cherish these babies completely. They are completely mine in every way in my heart. I may not be there genetic mother, but I am certainly there biological mom. I can honestly say that I do not have the "pangs of remorse" or doubt that I feared I might have. Some people need a kidney transplant, others need other organs, I just needed a single cell, a donor egg. I read an infertility book while doing my previous cycles that said something to the effect that "we are eventually blessed with the child/children that we were supposed to have". For some that is there own, for others adoption, and for me DE. I hope you both find success, no matter your route there, in both of your futures. If you want to hear what other moms who've used DE think, there is a great blog that I'll give you the address to. These women are very honest with their experiences and have so much knowledge. You can find it at: http://www.network54.com/Forum/57451/
Best of luck to you both!
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11/6/2009 6:49 PM
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Thanks for sharing what you learned. It is sort of disheartening how few options we have at this age. I think that if you can afford it, it is worth doing another round of IVF--especially given how many eggs you produced. I would suggest doing acupuncture during your cycle (if you weren't already). It is really thought to help. We're tempted to try a round or two of IVF with my eggs, but we are also paying completely out of pocket. So I think I'd rather pour the money into donor egg IVF instead. At our clinic, it costs about $30,000 for a fresh cycle. We're also looking into a shared risk program that allows for three fresh donor rounds, plus unlimited frozen transfers. If you don't end up with a baby you get a portion of the money back. If we were lucky enough to get (and stay) pregnant on the first try, it would cost more, but if we had to do multiple rounds, this program would end up being cheaper. (it's called Attain IVF)
I completely understand that it can be difficult to wrap your head around the idea of someone else's DNA. But after my pregnancy, my feelings about that really changed. I was pregnant long enough to see and feel changes in my body, see the little thing on an ultrasound, hear the heartbeat, and bond with it 24/7. I feel completely confident that if I were able to have that experience again--and this time carry to term--that baby would feel 100% mine.
It's nice to chat with someone else my age dealing with this quickly closing window of fertility. Please continue to keep me posted on your decisions.
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11/6/2009 4:27 PM
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Here is what I learned about the Sher Institute (SIRM) Micro-IVF program. It was designed to reduce costs by using less costly drugs. Unfortunately, it is really designed to give those women who had a great chance of success with traditional IVF, a cheaper option. Accordingly, their age cutoff is 35 for the program.
So, at 44, the choice becomes, use donor eggs, or hope that one more round of traditional IVF does the trick. If you check out the Sher website, you'll learn that even younger women have about 60% bad eggs. By age 44, you are talking over 90% bad eggs. There are probably some good ones left, but they are in the minority and thus very hard to get a hold of at any given time.
I am leaning toward one more round of traditional IVF. With low FSH, I responded extremely well to Follistim and produced 17 eggs, 14 embryos. Out of that 4 looked okay, and 2 got to the blast stage. If I could get the same results again (but with at least one without chromosomal abnormality this time), then it could work.
I am with you, Sal, on it all being a financial decision at this point. We spent about $12,000 out-of-pocket on the first round, so the second round will leave us at a total cost of $24k. We are spending our retirement money early it seems.
The doc I spoke to today asked if I had priced donor eggs. I haven't. I feel really weird about having a kid with different DNA than me. Which is sort of odd, because I am not against adoption. I guess I feel that, if I pay an adoption fee, I get a baby. If I pay for donor eggs, they may still not work. Plus, the idea of mixing donor eggs with my husband's sperm makes me really unhappy.
Have you priced donor eggs? Are you paying totally out-of-pocket? I so wish we lived in New Jersey where most of the IVF process is covered by insurance!
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11/6/2009 4:13 PM
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I'll be very curious to hear what you learn about the Micro IVF. I went on their website, but they don't really go into the specific of how a cycle differs from conventional IVF. Our decisions right now are mostly going to be based on money, so I would be interested to hear about this if it's a less expensive option. I'm leaning more and more toward donor egg IVF even thought the cost is outrageous because the success rate is so high. Are you considering that at all?
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11/6/2009 9:35 AM
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Sal22 -- Thanks for your reply. I am sorry for your loss. I think it's great that you got to 9 weeks, but I know exactly what you mean about it being hard to take miscarriage after miscarriage. I have now had 3, two this year.
I checked into the mini-IVF a little more. The cut-off at the St. Louis Fertility Center (a cheap flight by the way, mine would have been $138 round trip) is age 43. So it is not an option for those of us over 43.
Today I will be talking to a doctor at the Sher Institute (SIRM) about their Micro-IVF program. The benefit is that the cost is much more like IUI. Some docs say it's more effective than traditional IVF for older women.
I will post later with what I learn. We older women travel a tough road. Hopefully someday the technology will improve to aid our situation. I know Cornell is researching the possibility of growing new eggs. We will probably be 60 when they can do it though!
I will keep you in my thoughts and wish you the best in your efforts. Let me know how it goes!
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10/30/2009 4:40 PM
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I'm also 44 (got married last year as well). I got pregnant after our third cycle of IUI with Follistim, but miscarried at 9 weeks due to a chromosomal issue. I also have low FSH and good ovarian reserves, so sometimes feel hopeful that we could get pregnant again. But those poor old eggs do have such a high risk of chromosomal abnormalities, and I'm just not sure I can go through the up and down of getting pregnant and then losing the baby again. So we're actually thinking about IVF with a donor egg. But you could also look into IVF with pre-implantation genetic screening. that way they only implant the ones that aren't chromosomally abnormal. Problem at our age, as my doc described it, is that there's a good chance that after the testing, none of the embryos would pass the test. Good luck whatever you decide to do!
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10/30/2009 2:59 PM
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Have any of you over 40 folks TTC had any experience with the mini-IVF process? I found it on the Fertility Center of St. Louis website. It is supposed to have a higher success rate for older moms to be. Just wondering if anyone had tried it.
Here's my story. I got married this year for the first time at the age of 44 (one day before my bday, in fact). Several months later, we took a delayed honeymoon, and while at the doc for another matter, I found out I was 8 weeks pregnant the good old fashioned way. Unfortunately, the baby had no heartbeat, and the doc ordered a d&c.
So our hopes were spiked and then dashed. But we thought, if we did this on our own, what could be possible with IVF? So we tried one round, and I miscarried again, this time at 3 weeks post embryo transfer. My beta never went above 40. We are close to accepting that this is just not going to happen at this age. But there are cases every once in awhile where it works. I have plenty of eggs and low FSH, but those poor eggs are from the 1960's unfortunately.
Would love to hear success stories or tips from over 40 moms who eventually conceived. I am reading now that cutting saturated fats can make a difference, too.
Thanks, and good luck to all in achieving your dreams.
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