2/8/2010 6:38 AM
|
|
Thanks so much for the info and sharing! I will check out the other room as well. Good luck and best wishes!
|
|
|
|
2/7/2010 10:34 PM
|
Hi Kacee... Like Toni, I also tried IVF 3 times with my own eggs and never got pregnant. I 42 now (was 40 & 41 during those tries) and my DH is 10 years older. I had never had children or even tried to get pregnant previously. With my own eggs our RE gave me a 5% chance of conceiving. With DE my odds increased to nearly 70%. We made the move to DE via an inhouse donor pool last summer. It was all completely anoymous. We had information about our donor but no name or photos. Anyway, she had a beautiful cycle and we implanted 2 perfect blasts and froze 4. I recently experienced a loss at nearly 23 weeks with our twin boys but it was in not way due to the donor situation. The babies were perfect in every way, my cervix just gave out. We'll be trying again in the coming months with our other embryos.
DE is a wonderful thing and such a blessing to those of us who would otherwise not conceive. I completely fell in love with my babies and never once regretted the decision to move forward. They were mine in every way possible.
Our cost was about 20K which included the meds. It varies each place so really check it out. I've heard a lot of negatives about agencies and the lack of quality, screening, etc. I'd recommend an inhouse pool if possible. Like Toni said, meet us on the General Discussion board for lots of other help & input. Good luck to you. I hope you get the family you desire!
|
|
|
|
2/7/2010 9:09 PM
|
Hello kacee,
I just read your post and I understand how frustrated you are. I am 39 and I had to use a Donor. I did not respond to the stimulation both cycles I only produced about 4 follicles. My husband is 47 and has a son from a previous marriage. I have no children of my own yet. I used a donor from my RE's pool and things went really well, until I miscarried about 3 weeks ago.
The positive thing is that the RE told us that we had a 70% chance with DE and 10% with my eggs. The cost is about $24000, with out the meds. the meds are another $4000. I was lucky my donor was also trying to have a baby and what we did was a shared cycle she is 25 and she responded beautifully and produced 22 eggs, I got half and she got half, the final cost for the shared cycle was $16,000, and then extra for the meds. but I felt better having a donor who was as dedicated to the treatments as I was. I have heard some horror stories about donor's flaking during the process. So if you decide to use DE then be very careful in looking at the donor's life style, will they stay on the ball?
If you join us on the General board under IVF buddies we share more info.
Toni.
|
|
|
|
2/6/2010 5:45 PM
|
Hello,
I am new to all of this and have just gone through my first cycle of IVF. I was devastated to learn last week that it had failed. I was especially disappointed because I had done so well throughout the whole process. I had 15 eggs retrieved and 13 were fertilized. I had 4 of the highest grade 8 cell embryos transferred and they were able to freeze 3 embryos (2- 8 cell and 1 -7 cell; all of the highest grade as well). The news really drove it home to me that I guess I was kidding myself by thinking that I wouldn't have a problem getting pregnant with ivf. It is starting to sink in that the odds of this working for us are very low. My RE said there was about a 20% chance that it could be successful but I guess it really didn't hit me until now that there is an 80% chance (or greater) that it won't be successful. I am so depressed that we may not get another chance to be parents.
I am 42 and my husband is 36. We are both healthy and have no medical cause that came up during testing to explain our infertility. We have a beautiful 7 year old son who was conceived naturally with no issues whatsoever. I now fear that we have waited too long to have another child. I have an appointment in a few weeks with my RE to discuss the next steps. I am starting to push through the sadness and think about trying again. We are very lucky that our insurance has covered this process 100% so far and has approved 1 more cycle. I see that older women have had a greater chance of success with donor eggs. I know our insurance will not cover this and was wondering if anyone has had experience with donor eggs and would have an idea how much it would cost?
Any input or stories to share would be much appreciated. I wish everyone the best of luck with their treatments as well!
Thanks!
|
|
|
|
9/23/2009 11:41 AM
|
Hi WannaBeAMommy and Shel2 - I just read both of your posts and I must say the three of us definitely have similarities. I'll share my experiences.
I'm 44. I started thinking about having kids at 41. My husband is older and had a vasectomy 20+ years ago. We were going to do a reversal but the doctor actually sent us away, saying our chances weren't good. He said we had better chances with sperm aspiration. So that's what we did with a different doctor.
I did a round of IVF with my eggs. The stats were almost identical to yours - WannaBeAMommy - # eggs, etc., but it came up BFN.
Running total at this point for sperm aspiration + IVF = $30K
Next...
We decided to move on to donor eggs. We did a cycle which cost about $25k. So now at this point, we've spent over $55k out of our own money!
I got a BFP with the donor eggs, but then miscarried. We now believe it might have been sperm-related. When I got the reports from both cycles, it said "poor" sperm on both cycles. After cycle #1 if they knew there was poor sperm, they should have let us know...yet they let us go through with using my husband's sperm for cycle #2. (sorry, venting and oversharing!)
So, Shel2, I will give my two cents. This is only my opinion; this is based on what I now know and believe.
The chances of getting pregnant with one's own eggs over the age of 40 are low. Our eggs just aren't that good anymore. The chances of birth defects/chromosome problems are higher as well.
I was convinced that I should try with my own eggs first. I just knew I could get pregnant. Both my mother and sister had babies at ages 42 and 43, so why shouldn't I? My doctor wasn't pushy or anything, but he wasn't a good enough talker. He really should have counseled us and said, "Look, women your age hardly ever get pregnant with their own eggs, even with IVF. At my clinic, I have only had one woman over age 40 have a baby iwth her own eggs. Your chances are not good, but I will proceed anyway, if that's what you'd like. But honestly, I'd be taking your money." Unfortunately, we never had this conversation. It would have been a reality check. I'm just not that stupid. I was uneducated at the time...but now I know a whole lot more.
Honestly, we should have gone to donor eggs from the get-go.
Shel2, in your situation, you've already tried a few rounds of IUI. And you are thinking of trying IVF. If money isn't an issue, I say go for the IVF. That way you can erase all doubt in your mind that you tried; you wouldn't want to keep thinking "what if" about this...
If money IS a issue, then I would proceed to donor eggs. I would probably also do donor sperm as well. Knowing what I know now, and feeling as desperate as I do, I would have done "donor everything" to get my child.
So my vote is to go straight to donor eggs. Just my opinion. I wouldn't mess around with using your eggs. I'm healthy, no PCOS or endo or any other "female" issues. Perfectly healthy, just old eggs.
If you chose the donor egg route, maybe you could do half and half on the sperm...donor sperm and husband's sperm. They'll always pick the best sperm right there in the dish. Of course you would have to do a DNA test later to determine (if you wanted to know) that your husband is the father of your child.
So that's my opinion. Go to donor eggs. I know soooooo many women who have gotten pregnant from it on this and other websites, WannaBeAMommy included. Hardly anyone fails. The chances are really good.
Good luck in your decision. I know it's a tough one.
|
|
|
|
9/20/2009 2:03 PM
|
Thank you so much for your kind reply. It's nice to connect with somebody who understands. And, many congrats on the pregnancy! What a wonderful time for you and your DH, after all the trying and decision making. I'm glad to hear that the DE decision went well the first time! I am certainly considering that and interestingly, can see that as a good option much more than I good donor sperm (which my repro Dr. also put on the table as a less expensive option).
I plan to talk with DH an little more about this today. We try to only talk about it in small doses as it can wear us both out and it's sort of "out there" all the time anyways. Although he's told me he'll do whatever I want (as long as it doesn't bankrupt us), I do need to hear his opinions and thoughts and have it be our decision.
At any rate - I think I'll be hanging around this board a little more so please post how things are going for you. It'll be fun to hear if you have a 1 or 2 in there!
|
|
|
|
9/19/2009 3:26 PM
|
Hi Shel2----Your post touched me and I just wanted to reach out to you. You are so not alone and have definitely come to the right place for support. There are many of us women here that are over 40 and struggling with many of the same things that you are questioning yourself about. I'm glad your husband is supportive. Infertility, as you already know, is a roller coaster and having your DH's support makes all the difference in the world. I completely understand about wanting to try IVF with your own eggs. That is the natural way to feel. That way, at least you will have known that you tried. Like yourself, our insurance pays for nothing so I understand the burden IVF places on one's finances. It sounds like you have stimulated well in the past, and if your husband's sperm motility & count is low, ICSI will be a big help to you. If you are able to afford it, I would try an IVF cycle w/ICSI first and then, if that doesn't work and you still desire a child, then consider donor based on how well you stimulated, etc. Unfortunately, for many of us, it eventually comes down to how many cycles can I afford to do. Either way, you have not waited too long and try not to beat yourself up about that. Everything happens in its own time for its own reason. We can't control everything (though I'd love to!). It is emotionally draining, but having a plan helps tremendously. I always feel rejuvenated whenever I've gotten the new plan.
My experience is quite similar to yours in some ways. I am 41 (42 in Oct) and my DH is 52 w/2 grown kids. Been married 10 years. He never wanted more kids, I always wanted them. Finally, at age 40, convinced him and we started the IVF train. He had a vasectomy some 18 years ago--about 5 yrs before we met. Our RE recommended aspirating his sperm as a reversal would take a bit of time to work (if it worked) and due to my age, so we've used ICSI each time. I lost 50 lbs. per my RE and we jumped through all the other preliminary hoops. It was exhausting. Finally, last June (08) we started our first cycle. Only got 7 eggs, 4 mature, 2 fertilized, only 1 left to transfer. BFN (negative test). Tried again in Oct. 08 but cycle was canceled due to change in med protocol that didn't work. Regrouped, tried again in March 09. Same exact results--7 eggs, 4 mature, 1 fertilized, BFN. We were devastated and quickly draining the savings account. We decided we had 1 more try in us. My RE told me we had a 5-10% chance w/my eggs or upwards of 60-70% with Donor. After much soul searching and some tears, we moved on to DE. Not an easy decision, but once made, I am totally at peace with. We did our first DE cycle and I am now 6 weeks pregnant and couldn't be happier. Will find out at my u/s on Monday if there are 1 or 2 in there. I truly don't think about the DE part anymore. This is just my baby(s) growing in me.
I really hope things work out for you and your hubby. Again, you haven't waited too long. There are many ways to be a Mommy and your way will find you. Feel free to vent, ask questions, etc. anytime. There are great, supportive women on this site. Good luck to you. I'll be praying you get your miracle too.
|
|
|
|
9/19/2009 11:38 AM
|
Hi everyone. I know this is not a new topic of discussion - I'm just looking for a place to talk to others who feel the same way. I'm 41 (turning 42 in Jan), no previous pregnancies and for many, many reasons was only able to start considering having a baby in the last couple of years. Hubbie of 11 yrs had a vas reversal done a little over a year ago (he has the vas almost 20 years) for me. Result has been lower count with reduced motility. We've tried 2 IUIs with no success. Now considering IVF with ICSI. No insurance coverage. I'm not sure how to feel about this or what to do. Dr. told me ~ 10% change with IVF and my own eggs, although I responded well to the stims for the IUI, greater chance of course with donor eggs.
I'd like to try with my own eggs first - am I nuts? Am I wasting our money? Is it just too stressful to be worth it? As I think about this, part of the time I wonder to myself "who am I kidding?". I waited too long, I lived many years just fine thinking I would never have kids, so I should just move on and work through the sadness. The other part of the time I think that this is such an important thing and if there's even a small chance I should pursue it. My husband is very supportive (and he's 56 with 3 grown kids!) and wants me to be happy, but he's also worried about draining our bank account. Without even doing an IVF cycle, I already feel emotionally tired. Any thoughts or experiences that people want to share that might help me find a place to stand about this would be much appreciated. I can't talk endlessly to husband about it and friends, family and co-workers are not an option at this point (especially co-workers).
At the very least, my thanks for reading and thus listening.
|
|
|
|
|
|